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June 21, 2011 10:48 pm / takingbacksingle

Cheating men part 2: my story

So a little while ago I wrote about my take on the cheating men scandals that have been hitting up the news lately. Personally, I have some experience with the issue too. I have (thankfully!) never been cheated on, but I have been the receiver of attention from committed guys. The one that stands out the most to me is A.

When I met A for the first time, I instantly felt comfortable. He is one of those guys who people are drawn to from across the room. He could also be accurately described as tall, dark and handsome. I was immediately smitten. However, when I found out that he had a girlfriend a couple of days later, I thought I must have misinterpreted his signs. But he started acting even more friendly. I kept trying to forget about him, but his constant flirtation was hard to ignore. It all came to an end, at a party last December. I was hoping he would finally tell me that he wanted to be with me instead of his girlfriend, and at first everything seemed to go in the right direction, he kept on putting his arm around me, asking me what type of guys I like, touching my thigh. Nothing too crazy, but stuff that could not be dismissed as simply friendly. But at the end of the night, he walked home to his girlfriend, not me. I felt crushed and humiliated. He had been playing with my emotions all along. I’m sure it was quite obvious that I was into him, and he probably enjoyed the attention, but he was still in love with his girlfriend. The thing is, it would never have gone that far had he made it clear that he was committed and had he not played along with the whole situation.

Now I’ve cut him out of my life, as much as possible, considering that we hang out in the same circle of friends. But he still continues. The other day he sent me a flirty email and all I can do is to ignore it. I’m not sure if I should tell the girlfriend, since I don’t know her too well, and he also isn’t actually cheating physically.

The thing is, I’m not the only one A does this to. I’ve seen (and continue to see) the way he talks to girls who obviously are into him. And it really angers me. The way he leads girls on, just to get a kick out of it, thinking he can get away with it all. I think this is similar to what Weiner was doing. By telling himself he was not “officially cheating” he felt okay getting his ego boost and still going home to his wife with a clear conscience. And I wouldn’t be surprised if as A gets older, and his relationship becomes a little less new, he goes farther than just flirting.


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