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July 20, 2011 8:27 pm / takingbacksingle

Is friends with benefits really beneficial?


With two recent movies about no strings attached hooking up, it would seem like the “friends with benefits” arrangement is becoming mainstream. I haven’t seen “Friends With Benefits” yet, but I can guess that it ends similarly as “No Strings Attached” where the end is a love story. In reality, it almost never happens that way. First of all, is the double standard in our culture that it’s cool for guys to sleep around but a girl who does the same is a slut. The second is that if someone does not like you enough to ask you out and be monogamous they probably don’t see any long term potential, and any potential is likely to diminish because of a sex-only arrangement.

Both movies make hooking up look cute and fun, though that rarely is the way it works in real life. People get hurt, if not psychologically, then physically (hello STD’s!). And though our society has come  a long way since sex before marriage was cause for being shunned, I don’t think I could ever be in a fwb relationship. Sex has emotions attached no matter how much we like to separate the two.

Personally I’m not going to condemn girls for doing fwb, but it’s not something I have ever tried or will try. I like to think that I have more self respect than that (though that may sound judgmental, that’s how I feel).



Leave a Comment
  1. Christopher Snell / Jul 20 2011 9:00 pm

    I like your thinking, you sound like a well grounded person, and I agree with your thoughts. I think fwb was created mostly by men who can’t commit, and the women that respond will do anything to be accepted. This is not our path, so we can choose not to get twisted up in the game.

    • takingbacksingle / Jul 21 2011 10:53 pm

      Good points. Fwb just creates an evil cycle of low self-confidence and destructive behaviors. Thanks for reading!

  2. brianlamew / Jul 20 2011 9:22 pm

    I was recently thinking about this topic as well. At the end of the day there is so such thing as sex without strings attached. The culture likes to say that sex is just physical, when we all know deep down that it is much more than physical. I have talked with so many people who have experienced the let down, regret and depression of casual sex. It makes an impact. Thanks for this post. I wrote about this topic in more detail in my latest post.

    • takingbacksingle / Jul 21 2011 10:55 pm

      Yes, at least for me, sex will never be without any strings. I think it has a deeper meaning. Thanks for reading!

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