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August 23, 2011 11:13 pm / takingbacksingle

Studying to be a housewife

The other day, a couple of friends and I were talking about our futures post-college. Personally, I’m not sure about my future yet, but I know I want to see the world, publish a book, make a difference, maybe work in politics. What I found strange was when one girl said she wants to be a housewife. And she was not the only one.

I find it extremely strange that in this day and age in the US, many girls who are going to college  have no ambitions past wanting to raise kids, cook and clean. Now, of course parenting is a huge responsibility which takes tons of time, but at the same time, isn’t it a waste of a college education (and $200,00) to not do anything with it. Are these girls who are all passionate about their field of study just going to drop that passion once a man proposes to them?

I understand cutting down on your hours once you have children- maybe if I have an established career where I could work from home, I would do that. But at the same time, why is it always the mom who has to work part time? Why do we almost never hear about stay at home dads?

Shouldn’t raising the kids, cooking and cleaning be an equal responsibility for both partners?

Also, staying home with the kids does not exactly set a great example for your own kids. The daughters will grow up thinking it’s normal for them not to pursue a career of their own, while the sons will grow up probably expecting their future wives to stay at home.



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  1. typefashion / Aug 25 2011 11:18 am

    I have to say that in many parts of the world a females career is something that keeps her occupied until she has children! so a female cutting down on work is a given. It is sad and whats worse is what you rightly point out! That many of us are happy to do so.

    I am doing my master’s and if I were to know my colleagues were going to quit when they have kids, I would prefer someone else who desired more should have got that admission.

    Its hard to understand and is after all a personal choice.

    • takingbacksingle / Aug 25 2011 10:02 pm

      Yes, I agree that’s it’s a personal choice. But it’s one that I, like you, have difficulty understanding. How to be passionate about your choice of study and then just drop it as soon as a man comes along. How does that work? It must be something women are conditioned to do (through society, family, friends).

  2. Life without mascara / Aug 26 2011 12:23 pm

    I think that it is fine if someone wants to stay home to take care of a family because, frankly, that is a ton of work. And more often today a woman is expected not only to work but to do way more than her share of the housework and raising the kids. However, to want to stay home before there is even a family in the picture is pretty antiquated. And when there is an expectation that a woman should stay home (and the notion that it is ridiculous for a man to do so), well, obviously that’s sexism and flat-out intolerable.

    • takingbacksingle / Aug 26 2011 4:01 pm

      Yes I believe there are some women who would genuinely want to be a housewife even if there were no societal pressures to do so, as I’m sure there would be some men who would feel the same way. The sexism, as you say, is the expectation that housework is a woman’s responsibility. And even if both partners work, the wife is the one expected to raise the kids and cook. It would be so much easier for women to work, if both partners split housework/ childrearing.

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