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September 6, 2011 4:57 pm / takingbacksingle

Men are from Mars: on creepiness

I saw the movie “Crazy, Stupid Love” the other day, and I really liked it. I would highly recommend it to anyone looking for a romantic comedy that’s a bit more original than usual.
But anyways, so Ryan Gosling plays this playboy type guy, and so he’s in a bar, and he approaches Emma Stone, saying how he’s been staring at her all night, how attractive she is, can he buy her a drink/ take her home.

What a creep, I whispered to my guy friend sitting next to me.
What? He’s so cool, I wish I could do something like that, my slightly nerdy friend said.

It’s not the first time something like this has happened. Another time a creepy guy at a party, leaned towards me, drunkenly telling me he really wanted to “ask me out.” I didn’t even know his name, so I ran away pretty quickly. Another guy friend of mine asked me why I had ran away, and I told him that the guy had asked me out, and he did not get how that had creeped me out.

I don’t think men and women think of creepy in the same way. For me, Ryan Gosling’s character was definitely creepy. He was way too forward and too cocky. If a guy wanted to talk to me at a bar, I’d prefer him just say hi and have a normal conversation, not give me slimy lines he rehearsed in front of his bathroom mirror. Similarly, the guy at the party, should have talked to me, and introduced himself, not just be so direct (him being drunk might have had something to do with it, but still).

When men think of creepy, they imagine the stereotypical needy girl who won’t stop texting them, but it does not get much worse than that. It’s not like they would be uncomfortable being alone with that girl because as guys they are physically stronger, so nothing can really happen.

When I think of creepy, of course there is that guy that thought we were official after the first date, but was harmless once he got the hint. But there’s also the guy who literally follows you around at a party all night, so much that you’re scared to leave your group of friends. Or the one who thinks it’s okay to just grab your hips and start grinding on you. Because some creepy guys could be dangerous, they could be the one slipping something in your drink or taking advantage of you if you drink too much. Guys don’t have to worry about that (now I know there are individual cases of guys being raped, but I’m talking generals here).

Imagine my party scenario if the genders were switched. A guy might be more likely to say yes (because they usually don’t get hit on as often as girls) but if he was not interested he would probably just laugh and say no. This is why my guy friends didn’t get my point, either time. For them a creepy girl is just a turn off, but for girls, a creepy guy can actually be very scary.

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4 Comments

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  1. Amber / Sep 6 2011 5:04 pm

    Loved this and I couldn’t agree more.

  2. Mina Waldorf (@MinaDubU) / Sep 12 2011 11:11 pm

    Kind of a late reply, but I agree with your post.

    I hate the summer months because, I don’t want to say I’m forced to wear shorts and dresses, but seriously it’s hot. I dress for comfort and the guys who make obscene gestures and rude noises piss me off. I feel that when a guy is overly pushy and won’t take no for an answer, my rapist meter goes off and suddenly, I don’t feel safe.

    If you want me to go out with you then treat me like a decent human being and not a piece of meat. I guarantee you that I am a lot more receptive if you approach me and have a normal conversation than trying all these one liners on me. Hell, at this point, I’d even take a Joey. “How you doing?”

    • takingbacksingle / Sep 13 2011 6:51 pm

      I totally agree with you! For some reason, a lot of men assume that if you’re wearing a skirt, you’re doing it to please them. Excuse me, if it’s a 100 degrees outside, I’m wearing a skirt because I don’t want to be sweating constantly not to please you.
      And yeah, even a guy just saying hi, is so much better than a whistle, or making some remarking along the lines of “you’re hot.”

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