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March 12, 2012 6:23 pm / takingbacksingle

Love on the stage

I met D when I was taking an improv course in New York City (which I highly recommend, by the way). Throughout the course I thought he was cute, and I could tell he felt the same way about me. We hung out a couple times at the bar after class. The last night, after our graduating show, we were flirting all night and I felt the sparks as our thighs touched. He offered to walk me home and we talked and laughed and he kissed me goodbye in crowded Grand Central. It was like a movie!

We made plans to hang out again and ended up walking around in the city making out in front of fountains and monuments and getting dinner. The date was awesome! The conversation was great and we realized we love the same food, shared similar values and senses of humor. And he was so cute! I was really happy.

The next couple of days he even called me on the phone and we talked several times and made plans to hang out again. From the start of the second date, though something was off. He was 20 minutes late, and his only excuse was that he had been at the gym. The conversation felt forced and awkward, he kept on asking me about me, but would not answer any questions in return. He made me return some clothes with him and took forever looking at clothes for himself. I was so confused! Only a couple of days ago had he been so attentive and he had even been calling me every day in between our date. During dinner he was equally aloof, he was checking his phone, making half hearted conversation. The conversation picked up a bit halfway through dinner, but by then I was kind of over the whole thing.

Later on, we went to a jazz club type place and he started becoming more affectionate, telling me how adorable I was, how he really enjoyed spending time with me. In the cab we shared home, he turned panicked asking whether I wanted to see him again. The issue was that we were both leaving for different places in a couple of days and would not both be back to NY for a couple of months. I didn’t really respond, confused, but suddenly, he looked incredibly sad, grabbing my hand, saying he really wanted me to say that I would see him again. We kissed and then I had to get out of the cab.

I was more than confused the following days. I told him I didn’t want to go out again as we were both leaving in a couple of days. I thought it was all over. But then he sent me a long personal facebook message asking me how I was/ talking about his life, etc. I responded but then it took him a full 2 weeks to get back to me. When he got back to me, it was with an even longer letter- type message. But I was done with it. I felt like he was playing games with me, acting hot/cold, purposely taking time to respond to my message. There was just something off with him.

It’s been a month or so and I haven’t heard from him again since not responding to his message. But I am really happy I went on those dates because I learned that I don’t want a guy who plays games. I want a guy who lets me know if he’s into me. I want someone who won’t play hard to get, someone who makes his intentions clear. 

I think a lot of women today don’t realize that many times, they deserve better. Many of my friends stay with guys who won’t become exclusive/ who cheat/ who won’t introduce them to his friends… Seriously, women, if a guy is not treating you the way you’re treating him, get out as soon as you can. Sooner or later a guy who is not crazy about you will leave you and you can never get back the time you were together.

I think that that’s why dating is so great, it helps us learn what we don’t want. Plus, it makes for some cute stories! Really, I think I’m the only one of my friends that has made out in front of fountains all over New York City. Anyways, what are your weird dating stories? How do you weed out which are the “good guys”?

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