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February 22, 2015 5:03 pm / takingbacksingle

Confusion and stress

I’m so sick of being so easily affected by guys I date. But rejection or not being treated with respect always hurt. Friends and family say to not take things so seriously, to chill out. I try, but it doesn’t work. I’m a sensitive person and this is how my emotions work. Over drive.

I had a date two weeks ago that I was really excited about. We had talked once before but I felt that we had a connection. It was the first time I was excited for a date in a while. The date itself was not great though. I didn’t really feel that we connected so much and he said some things which I found a bit weird.

I wasn’t sure about him. I was anyways going away for a trip for a couple weeks and did not have to decide about him right away. To my surprise, he seemed pretty into it. He texted me the night after the date and called me two days later. During my trip he sent me somewhat lengthy Facebook messages and we talked a bit back and forth. Towards the end the conversation got quiet but I figured he would pick it up once I got back as he was excited about me returning. Although the date wasn’t great I felt that I wanted to give it a second chance. His messages were sweet and I wondered if perhaps he had just been nervous on the date. I also remembered how excited I had been before the date.

But since I’ve gotten back I haven’t heard from him at all. It’s now been almost 10 days since his last text (when I was away). It’s not that I felt we had a really strong connection, but his messages had convinced me to give him a second chance and I felt excited about it, hoping the second date would be better.

Now I’m confused. If he didn’t want to go out with me, why try to keep in touch with me when I was away? Was he just bored? Is he playing hard to get? I’m sick of these types of games. If he hadn’t contacted me I would assume he wasn’t interested, but after the effort he made I just don’t understand what is going on.

I’m wondering if I should shoot him a message to see what is going on. One message can’t hurt. But at the same time, maybe I should take this as a sign that he is not interested. Or that he plays game. The first date wasn’t that great to start with so maybe I should just let it go.

I just feel tired of this stress and worry. I wish I didn’t have to devote so much energy to worrying about this situation, but it feels like I can’t stop myself. I just go into this mode. I try to be more relaxed, but the only time it works is when I know I am not interested in the guy at all. Then I am completely relaxed and the person I want to be. But if I have any interest in him (even here, where I am not very excited) I get so worked up.

Yeah, it’s easy to tell people to just relax. But for some of us, that’s just not whp we are, no matter how much we wish we could be.

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