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August 15, 2011 12:43 am / takingbacksingle

Why I don’t wear makeup

I don’t wear makeup! Apparently this is something that is considered weird in our culture. It’s not that I am one of those tomboys who does not care too much about their appearance. I like dressing up and am pretty girly overall but I just don’t see the point of makeup.

I wore makeup for a couple of years in high school but grew sick of it. I could never see that much of a difference with it, and mascara or eyeliner made my eyes itch. Once I took it all off I never looked back. In our culture, putting on lipstick is considered the ultimate womanly act. I think that is screwed up. Apparently a woman is not feminine enough the way she is born, but she has to put stuff on her face to be a “real” woman.  So what’s next, you can’t be a woman if you don’t get a boob job or liposuction. Being a woman is in your DNA and has nothing to do with wearing make up. Think about the word in itself: make up. It makes up something that is not there to begin with.

Why can’t beauty be appreciated the way it is meant to be, in its natural form? Do we need to put paint on a rose to make it more vibrant? Should we put concealer on a baby to even out her skin? These ideas strike most people as ridiculous because they are.

A friend once told me that she wears makeup to job interviews because it’s more “hygienic”. Since when is putting on mascara, which could contain bacteria to give you pink eye hygienic? Since when is putting a gooey red paste on your lips, which will inevitable end up inside your mouth hygienic? I read a recent article that there are chemicals in many makeup products that can cause cancer. And isn’t the work place the one place where you should be judged for your credentials and intelligence, not your looks?

Maybe makeup has made the standard of beauty higher. But men are considered attractive without having to do much to their faces. If people stopped wearing make p, maybe the average person would be a little bit less attractive but so what? (I have seen many people who look less attractive with raccoon eyes and caked on powder than they would have looked au naturale).

So maybe I’m a bit biased. I’m pretty and have clear skin. But I doubt smearing on foundation on acne is going to make it look any prettier or make it clear up. Maybe I just don’t understand and others find it harder to break away from our society’s unnatural norms. But at least I’ve done something for myself. Without makeup I feel prettier, because I know it’s the real me. And if I’m not pretty enough for some employer or guy, then screw them.

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August 8, 2011 8:26 pm / takingbacksingle

Greetings from California

Hi everyone! In case people were wondering why I haven’t posted anything for a couple of days, I wanted to let you know that I’m away for a week in Santa Monica/ LA without steady Internet access. It’s been a lot of fun so far: I have been hanging out at the beach, visited Rodeo Drive and I even had a run in with my dream man Jake Gylenhaal (no kidding there). I’ll he back in New York at the end of the week and will be back to posting then. So long!

August 1, 2011 7:48 pm / takingbacksingle

Saying bye to Facebook

Well I’m not exactly quitting Facebook, but I’ve decided to set a limit on how much I go on Facebook before I turn into this crazy woman!

Reasons why I want to spend less time on Facebook

  • I don’t even enjoy going on there after the first minute or so when I read any messages I’ve received
  • Once I go on, I always end up spending twenty minutes or more
  • I feel as if I could do more productive things with my time
  • I feel stalker-ish looking at old acquaintances photos and wall posts (especially, checking out what my exes are up to in a moment of weakness)

So let me try this experiment: I’m going to check my Facebook only once a week and see how it goes. I was thinking of just deactivating my account but I still want to keep in touch with all the people I’ve met and don’t see on a daily basis. I’ll keep you guys updated.

Do you feel addicted to your Facebook and if so what do you do to limit your time?

July 31, 2011 11:25 pm / takingbacksingle

Inequality on Broadway

So I saw “Catch me if you can” on Broadway last night. I love Broadway shows, and although this one wasn’t my favorite, it was still good. There was tons of dancing and glitz and the occasional slapstick humor- what I would call a typical Broadway show.

There was one thing that really bothered me though- the sexualization of the women. There were plenty of costume changes for everyone, but it seemed that in every scene the women background dancers/ singers were wearing a bikini or a tight shirt and underwear, while the men were wearing pants and shirts in every scene. In one scene where the theme was business casual, the men were wearing dresspants and a suit jacket with a white button down under, while the women were wearing a suit jacket without anything under (boobs pushed up and all)and black bikini panties. First of all, that is entirely ridiculous! Imagine walking to an office like that, you would get fired then and there I bet. It’s one thing if they were trying to play off of the office idea but make it more fun, but the men were wearing entirely acceptable business attire. This continued in every scene, and I found myself getting more disgusted by the minute.

Why is it that women constantly have to be sexualized in order to keep someone’s attention? As if their Broadway-worthy dancing and singing isn’t enough? This is sending a really bad message to any young girls in the audience. And men should be bothered as well; our culture is really portraying men as not being able to look past a woman’s body, apparently women can’t be entertaining unless they are good looking and flaunting it.

A photo from the show (credit to http://www.playbill.com;click photo for link): Notice the women’s costumes compared to those of the men.

July 25, 2011 11:31 pm / takingbacksingle

A day of love for all New Yorkers

I don’t feel like writing a long post today, but I felt moved at the news of yesterday’s event.

On Sunday, hundreds of same sex couples got married in the great state of New York. And boy do they deserve it! After having been treated as second class citizens in their own country, lgbt people can now publicly declare their love and have that special day in front of their friends of family, as well as be recognized under law. New York, let’s show the rest of the US/ world how it’s done! Take a look at these pictures of the beautiful and radiant couples.

July 23, 2011 10:45 pm / takingbacksingle

Sharing your digits: when it’s appropriate to give out your number

So today I got on the train to go home and right when I sat down, my eyes locked with the guy who was sitting across a couple of rows down. He looked nerdy cute (my type!) with light brown hair and black glasses and we kept exchanging glances the entire ride. After a while he waved me over and we started talking. Turns out he is an opera singer!!! He seemed pretty cool, I thought. I told him I would get off soon and so he asked for my number. I hesitated. While he seemed nice enough I had only talked to him for a minute and I said I didn’t feel comfortable. Though he asked twice more, I persisted and he said okay.

Now, what I was thinking of is the question of giving out my number. When is it appropriate and most importantly, safe? My main concern is safety. I am kind of paranoid about these things, but at the same time, one can never be too careful. There are some nasty people out there and it’s important to be aware of that. Let’s say I gave him my number, would it really be safe to meet up? He may seem nice, but who knows, especially when I only talked to him briefly. And in today’s world, a girl has got to put her safety before anything else. There will be (many) other chances for romance.

The second, lesser concern (if he’s not a psycho), is that once you have given out your number, you can never take it back. He could be super clingy or maybe you just change your mind and then you have to figure out a way to let him down… Things get complicated. I have experienced my share of uninhibited texters/ stage 3 clingers who won’t stop contacting me until I state it out VERY clearly. So another one of those guys is not something I need in my life. And it seems they are not as rare as you may think. Though the stereotype is that girls are the clingy ones, in my experience, it’s been the opposite.

Though I may have missed out the opportunity of a fling with an opera singer, I also may have saved myself from a person who could be dangerous or just plain annoying. I may sound as if I am really exaggerating (most guys aren’t psychos), to me, it’s not worth taking a risk. There have been too many stories in the news of missing/ abducted/ raped girls lately, and so we have to protect ourselves. Before giving my number, I generally want to have mutual friends with a guy, or have talked to him on multiple occasions.

What do you think? When do you feel comfortable giving out your number to someone?

July 20, 2011 8:27 pm / takingbacksingle

Is friends with benefits really beneficial?

     

With two recent movies about no strings attached hooking up, it would seem like the “friends with benefits” arrangement is becoming mainstream. I haven’t seen “Friends With Benefits” yet, but I can guess that it ends similarly as “No Strings Attached” where the end is a love story. In reality, it almost never happens that way. First of all, is the double standard in our culture that it’s cool for guys to sleep around but a girl who does the same is a slut. The second is that if someone does not like you enough to ask you out and be monogamous they probably don’t see any long term potential, and any potential is likely to diminish because of a sex-only arrangement.

Both movies make hooking up look cute and fun, though that rarely is the way it works in real life. People get hurt, if not psychologically, then physically (hello STD’s!). And though our society has come  a long way since sex before marriage was cause for being shunned, I don’t think I could ever be in a fwb relationship. Sex has emotions attached no matter how much we like to separate the two.

Personally I’m not going to condemn girls for doing fwb, but it’s not something I have ever tried or will try. I like to think that I have more self respect than that (though that may sound judgmental, that’s how I feel).

July 10, 2011 12:13 pm / takingbacksingle

Waiting by the telephone part 2

So this is my third post on a guy I haven’t seen since May. Sounds ridiculous, I know, and the situation is starting to feel even more ridiculous. About a week ago, I wrote about how we was taking a really long time to answer our thread on Facebook. Well, it’s not looking any better now. After taking 5 days to answer my first message, he has not answered my second message, and this time it has been over 5 days. I which I could say he is one of those guys that does not check his facebook a lot, but he was on facebook chat the other day! I just feel disappointed right now. It’s one thing if he is not interested but then why would he be the first one to message me? And sign off both of his messages by telling me he was happy to hear from me?

I just don’t get it!

Honestly, it’s just another time when I’ve experienced guys sending mixed messages and it annoys me so freaking much! If you like me, let me know, and if you don’t, don’t be all friendly and nice. Personally, I try to practice what I preach. For example, the other day this guy I talked to briefly asked me out (through a facebook message as well- topic for another post, on how facebook is becoming the new way to ask people out). I knew I was not interested in him, so I politely declined, making sure there was no doubt of my intentions. And that’s how I want to be treated as well. Obviously it’s a confidence boost for anyone to be facebook messaging/ texting/ talking to people that are into you, but it really is not fair to the other person to keep them on the back burner, if you don’t actually have intentions of at least giving them a shot. Sooner or later, the same will probably happen to you and it’s not a good feeling.

Anyways, to me it seems that this guy is just not that into me. Unless he messages me back with a really good excuse as to why he is taking forever, I’m done with him. I’m just going to ignore his next message (if there is one) because this whole situation is just stressing me out.
That’s it for now. Peace out everyone!

July 8, 2011 6:03 pm / takingbacksingle

Do you like me now?

 

I came across this video on The Frisky and I thought I had to share. This girl is hilarious in my opinion and just voicing (albeit a bit dramatically) the concerns many girls have today. Feeling like being ourselves isn’t good enough for a guy. And it in our society, it somehow isn’t. Girls are expected to wear makeup yet look natural, be sexy but not slutty, be available but not too available. The attitude is that there is always something that can be “corrected” with the help of makeup, clothes, enhancing underwear (push up bras, Spanx) or even plastic surgery. And no matter how hard we try not to conform to those pressures they are always in the back of our heads telling us we really should not have that piece of chocolate.

July 4, 2011 10:44 pm / takingbacksingle

Waiting by the telephone…

So long story short, I ended up facebook friending the guy I mentioned in this post. When I checked my facebook the next day he had accepted and sent me a message and I was thrilled! I spent some time figuring out the wording that would make me seem interested but not too interested and hit sent! Maybe we are meant to be after all, I thought, a bit ahead of myself as usual.

But now it’s been a while and he still hasn’t gotten back to me and I’m starting to feel irritated. If he’s not interested I totally get it, but why would you initiate a message if you aren’t really interested in at least talking to someone? It just brings me back to the days when I would sit nervously by the phone waiting for my high school boyfriend to text me back. Only that now I guess people use facebook even more than phones. I’m sure there could be plenty of reasonable explanations, like maybe he just doesn’t check his facebook a lot, but I can’t help but be really ridiculous and check my facebook nervously three times a day. And I really do hate that wait in general. Obviously if a guy texts/ messages you back the second after it is creepy but having to wait days just seems unnecessary and makes me insecure rather than interested. If a guy keeps doing this to me I doubt whether he really is just a player.

I guess I just wanted to get all my feelings off my chest. What do you think about waiting for a guy or girl to contact you? Does it bother you or do you not care?